“I had heard the old Indian legend about the red fern. Only an angel could plant the seeds of a red fern, and that they never died; where one grew, that spot was sacred.”
Wilson Rawls, Where the Red Fern Grows

A lot of people who read my blog know that I often use this platform as a journal. I may be a fashion blogger, but I’m also a writer who lets it all out. I lost someone I loved so much. His name has made his way into my posts. His name was Loki, and he was the sweetest pup that ever lived.

My Loki was tough too. He was diagnosed with congestive heart failure in 2017. In late 2018, he was diagnosed with Insulinoma, which is a form of pancreatic cancer. He lost his battle on January 16, 2020. I had a hand in that. I saw him struggling for a week wanting to believe it was a tooth problem he had in the past. The course of antibiotics wasn’t helping 5 days in. He looked at me and I knew what we needed to do.

When I was in middle school, I read Where the Red Fern Grows. It has stayed with me to this day. When Loki was first diagnosed, I started to plan for his death. It’s the only thing one can do when their loved one has not one terminal diseases but two. All my preparation was for naught. Nobody can prepare to lose a piece of their heart. Nevertheless, I want the red fern to be true. It’s winter in my RL, and I can’t plant shit, so thank you Amatsu Lounge for giving me that splash of red in my darkest days.

Outfit: AnaSTyle – Lyanna with boots @ Designer Showcase
Pose: Diversion – Autumn Reading – 4
Location: Amatsu Lounge